Language such as you are quoting in your letter (e.g., "your flaws") is ‘me’ language conveying a sense of me against you.
When he starts talking about compromise and how are we going to handle the problem (where "we" doesn’t mean "you"), then you’ll know he’s made progress.
Those suffering from OCD have a nervous system that has become trapped in a vicious loop impervious to logic, will power and often medication.
To stop OCD, one must get past the illusion that distracting disruptive thoughts with certain activities or rituals will provide relief. Staying busy may keep the person preoccupied, but only perpetuates the cycle.
Dombeck- I just recently married 5 months ago and since this time, my husband has had what I think is an "OCPD break." While he had traits prior to our marriage, since I moved in and "invaded" his space, we have started to have problems.
It seems that he cannot tolerate any of my "flaws" which were all present prior to our marriage and he keeps growing more and more distant.
But the trugh is that they let their guard down here makes them more vulnerable than ever.
While I cannot speak to the validity of your diagnosis, it seems safe to say that your husband is having a difficult time adjusting to being married, and in large part the reason for this difficulty seems to be related to his relative rigidity in adapting to the changed circumstances.
Marriage requires an identity adjustment from ‘me’ to ‘we’, and it seems like he is having great difficulty entering ‘we’ territory.
Rejection comes when others do not see us a way we want, through disapproval or non acceptance.
We feel we are being shunned or discarded and it often creates feelings of not being good enough, of not being valued or wanted.”Inherently we all want to be liked, to fit in and be part of something larger than ourselves.