Heck, I’m probably losing interest in someone right now, completely unbeknownst to myself but setting the mind of the poor lass on fire, and not necessarily in a good way.
One saving grace is that most people, male or female, usually aren’t doing this stuff deliberately.
“I had a suspicion,” says Malhotra, “this polarization was influencing our lives in ways that went beyond elections.” In the first experiment, 197 subjects were brought into a Stanford behavioral lab and shown profiles of fictional people.
The profiles were made to look just like those posted on dating websites.
Casting a vote for a Republican is by no means a date deal breaker as far as I’m concerned. It changed the background music playing behind her monologues.
We left it at that, and she moved on to talking about David Cronenberg movies. ) But I confess this revelation threw a different light across the gal’s smile.
“Why is it that a guy fiercely pursues a woman at first, and then when he finds out she is actually interested he is not so sure if he is interested anymore? For background, I’m 29, live in Australia, and I’ve been on 5 dates with this guy so far but we haven’t kissed yet.” — Sheila Well well.
In the meantime, it still sucks to be on the receiving end.
There he was, showing up outside your castle window every day in his mostly shiny but frankly also a little rusty armor, strumming his lute and warbling his troubadour songs. Now, I don’t know exactly what was going on in your particular situation, Sheila, since I wasn’t there.
There he was at the opera house, his head low and eyes up giving him that simultaneously worshipful and conspiratorial look, passing you a note saying, “Meet me at the fountain when the clock tower strikes nine.” There he was, texting you right back when you texted him, even asking you out on actual grown-up dates to actual grown-up places like concerts and lectures, and then… However, I do know that I have been that man many, many times.
We’ll start fantasizing about the amazing future we could have with him and, sometimes, we’ll quickly start to fall for that vision. And a few weeks later, we’re wondering how we could have been so blind. You should never ever ever let yourself fall for a guy who isn’t trying to chase you. Because it’s a law of the universe that if he’s not chasing you in the beginning, he’ll disappoint you in the end. It’s tempting to let go when a guy is trying so hard to charm you.
If a guy is into you, he’ll come after you; if he’s not coming after you, he’s not into you. And the longer you keep him in hunter mode by not giving in to him, the more he’ll value you, and the better he’ll be to you after he has you. But this is precisely when you need to keep your head on straight. When he’s in hunter mode, he’s feeling open — so talk to him… Without being overbearing, ask him about his past and what he wants in the future.