After being in a relationship for a few years, I've basically forgotten what it's like to date.
In an effort to not be one of those people who's like, "Omg, you're single?
I managed to squeeze out some crocodile tears so the officers wouldn't slap me with public indecency charges.
The lady officer told me to 'never let a man treat you that way again.'" "My first-ever OK Cupid date was an hour late for dinner, which in itself was a bad idea (first-date dinners are the worst). I blocked his number." "I immediately knew I wasn't attracted to him, but I invited him to a party I was going to just to be polite.
Then he spent 20 minutes describing how bad one of his former online dates' vagina smelled. It was awful." "I met this sexy guy on Plenty Of Fish and he started asking me what shoe size I was and what color my toenails were painted. When we got to the party I told him I had to use the restroom and I'd meet up with him later.
Telling your epic tale bonds you to your fellow bad-date survivors, and somehow makes you feel less alone. We’ve teamed up with NBC's Undateable to collect some stories about terrible bad dates and the lessons we've learned from them.
“A cuddle is longer than a hug, but shorter than a date, so you’re not faced with having to sit through a drink or two if you’ve decided someone isn’t for you,” he explained to Salon.
“You can politely end a cuddle any time.” Cuddlers can then rank their partner, like an Uber ride.
I’ve been so lonely all my life–I’ve never had a “real” boyfriend–and I figured it was time.
There were all of the looks I got at family gatherings, the “she’s probably a lesbian” looks, the “she could probably lose ten to fifty pounds” looks.