I could open up a school to teach women how to be intimate because there are so many out there that are not giving intimacy to their husbands." The 58-year-old woman said that 90 per cent of her clients, ranging in age from 20-45, pay 0 for half an hour to engage in a heightened degree of emotional intimacy.In some cases, they engage in reciprocal sexual pleasure (girlfriend experiences), but in other cases, they won't have sex at all (companionship experiences). I can't tell you the number of times a client and I haven't had sex.And then I found myself dating an Australian who, for the most part, really couldn’t be fussed going to the beach. Each summer I’d be up and ready for the beach, swimmers on and sunblock spread thoroughly (re: not wearing enough for Australian sun), and he’d want to go the mall or to the hardware store. Not only did I learn that not all Australians live their lives at the beach or surfing, but they also don’t use the word “shrimp”…which ruins every American attempt at pretending to be an Australian by saying, “Throw another shrimp on the barbie, mate! Australians love their steak, their snags, their rissoles, their lamb, their meat pies — the list goes on. ” Here are some other things I learned from dating a True Blue: That amazing realization you had at work that day about how yellow is actually your favorite color? And on those rare occasions when we didn’t eat red meat and instead went with chicken, I would always hear, “So we’re going vegetarian tonight are we? They tear up gardens and farmland in the countryside, and they make nighttime driving dangerous. Like how they love a crazy ass adventure and are Sorry boys, we're not into the Twilight vampire look anymore, we like our men bronzed! With roughly 85 percent of the population living only THIRTY ONE miles from the coast, you better bet that most Australians LOVE the beach.
By the end of your relationship, you’ll learn that your Australian boyfriend is a true blue (and if you’ve ever dated an Australian, cue the True Blue drinking song in your head) always and forever.
But don't worry, if he's an Aussie he'll always be there to protect you.
Photo: Sérgio Bernardino WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, I thought all Australian guys had sun-kissed skin, blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, and lived their lives on their surfboards. It seemed like blasphemy, but such is the case when you grow up with some of the world’s most beautiful beaches right at your doorstep every day. I remember pleading for a gradual re-introduction to red meat before I moved to Australia, and I soon learned that I’d have no choice but to love it. There’s no whining or whinging when you’re camping out in the bush or when you don’t want to watch The Footy Show after just watching hours of the actual footy game. But when you’re dating an Australian, you’ll learn to nod when he tells you some really (I mean like really) obscure score, and you’ll learn to live with this never-ending game. Life stops for such events, and you’d better hope Australia (and in the case of State of Origin, your preferred team) wins, otherwise your boyfriend will be one unhappy sports fan.
And come Australia Day (one of the holiest days of the year), your entire day will be in synch with the Triple J Hot 100, or a countdown of the 100 best songs that year.
The only station on in your car ever (if it’s not talk radio about footy of course) will most likely be Triple J.