How you face these emotions -- and the extent to which you analyze what went wrong and what you contributed to the situation -- will play a major role in whether you find peace after the affair, regardless of whether the original relationship endures or dies, according to Emily Brown, MSW, an expert on the topic."It's easy to assume that an affair is about love, sex, selfishness, or trying to inflict pain," says Brown, author of "Affairs: A Guide to Working Through the Repercussions of Infidelity" and director of the Key Bridge Therapy and Mediation Center in Arlington, Va. Having an affair is one way of communicating that emotional issues aren't being met by the other partner or the marriage, according to Brown.Stuart had indulged in a short entangled affair with his secretary five years earlier.Both Stuart and his wife vigorously assured me that they had gotten over it long ago.
I hypothesized to myself that their resolution of the event five years ago left something to be desired, that there still were major factors left unresolved between them.
There are some predictable emotions, such as anger, panic, betrayal or a sense of loss.
And depression has been so acute for some people that they have become suicidal.
In her heart, however, Angela was dying a slow death.
Stuart seemed appreciative of her quick forgiveness—after all, that was his style too: His slogans of "Move on," "Get over it," and "Don't look back" helped him to soon forget it too.