Across television screens trudge health care workers in hazmat suits protecting themselves from Ebola. But touch doesn’t just feel good; it is vital to being human. It is, perhaps, one of the most tragic dimensions of this dreaded disease, that (because of the threat of infection) in the last days of life, a dying person cannot feel the gentle hand of a loved one, the warm touch of a caregiver. When we shake hands or put an arm across a friend’s shoulder, the body releases neurological chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin that feel good, while also inhibiting chemicals that cause stress.When we broke up after just dating for six weeks I recognized it was God’s grace that things didn’t work out for us, because if our relationship had kept together much longer I would have lost my will power to hold back and would have crossed my boundaries…and I knew once one line was crossed that I wouldn’t be able to stop.Exclusivity and intentionality are ancient rituals, things of the past, and misplaced hopes. It’s not that this new line of thinking is necessarily untrue today, or that it’s not the current and corrupt trend of our culture. One of our most precious pursuits, that of a lifelong partner for all of life, is tragically being relegated to tweets, texts, and snaps, to ambiguous flirtation and fooling around. Therefore, only he can prescribe the purpose, parameters, and means of our marriages.If fullness of life could be found in sexual stimulation, or if it was just a matter of making babies, the “forget formality and just have sex” approach might temporarily satisfy cravings and cause enough conception.But God had much more in mind with romance than orgasms or even procreation, and so should we. When people in the world are expecting less and less of each other in dating, God isn’t.
When you become a Christian the Holy Spirit becomes indwelled inside of you.
And from that first relationship I had learned about my own boundaries and what situations I should avoid to keep true to God’s command.
After the struggles from the first relationship, I resolved to be steadfast and pure with my second relationship.
Each issue contains new articles and insights on leadership training, updates on what’s been added to Building Church Leaders.com, and other practical help to build faithful and effective leaders in your church.
Today I’m answering questions that are often asked anonymously. I’ll discuss how far is too far, setting boundaries, cuddling, forgiveness, and sex.